Being Known… for real

Anyone who knows me even a little bit can identify the photo attached to this post as fake. It took me less than 30 seconds to generate it using artificial intelligence. While the photo does depict parts of my life that are true; I love horses and have ridden through some of the most amazing mountain passes of Wyoming, this photo captures more of what I wish to be like and it reveals who I truly am. Unfortunately, merely ‘faking it’ in life is getting more common and more acceptable. This is a sad reality of our time.

Over the years, I’ve discovered there’s a big difference between knowing what is happening in someone's ministry and knowing what is happening in that person’s life. Certainly, ministry life and personal life are connected, but they’re not one-and-the-same. You can know about a missionary, who is their sending agency, where they are ministering, the people group they’re reaching, how many _________ they have __________ over the years. That’s basic data. When it comes to the specific challenges a missionary faces, what’s going on in their personal, marriage and family, what’s heavy on their heart and mind… that’s an entirely different thing. Recognizing this important difference is part of what has shaped the way we think about, and do ministry at ZEELO.

You know our mission; “to provide exceptional care” specifically to those serving the Unreached. While expectational care can take on many forms, I’m convinced that the level of care we provide is directly related to how close and trusted we are in the relationship. This carries far more weight rather than experience or expertise. The things ZEELO does; pastoral care, training, connection, resources, hosting retreats, debriefings, providing short-term housing and transportation all matter, but the effectiveness of our efforts are much harder to measure. And to get there, we focus on developing deep connection and relationship with those we serve so we know them well.

This kind of trusted relationship doesn’t develop overnight.

Those of us who have spent any time in ministry at all know how to spin things. Many of us have become experts at answering every manner of question except ones like: “Hey, how are you doing?” or "How’s your spiritual health?” We’ll easily talk about the people we’re discipling, our next big trip or project, ministry successes, etc. We’ve learned that it’s just easier to share an encouraging story or positive data than to go deep and talk about the realities of life in ministry. It’s not that we’re being dishonest, but far too many have learned that true transparency carries tons of risk. So, when asked the question, “How are you doing?” we tend to redirect, divert, or spin. We are only willing to “go there” when we fully believe we are safe.

Getting to that point requires close, trusted relationship.

We know that Global Leaders who serve the Unreached live with pressures that most people will never experience or understand. They don’t merely live inside a foreign culture, with hard to learn languages, and unfamiliar traditions. They are doing difficult ministry while raising families, developing local leaders, planting churches, raising support, dealing with government restrictions, resolving team conflicts, and carrying the spiritual and emotional weight of serving in places where there may be very few believers.

At the same time, life back home continues without them. Parents get older. Friends move on. Weddings and funerals are missed. Loneliness creeps in. Sometimes the ministry into which they have poured their best years simply isn't producing the results they had hoped to see.

When you know someone well enough, eventually the conversation moves beyond what they are doing and toward what all of this is doing to them.

We see the value of this time and time again. When leaders come back to the US for whatever reason their time with us is not about walking away from ministry. It their an opportunity to rest, reconnect as a family, process some of what they’ve experienced, and prepare for returning to the ministry to which God has called them.

During a missionary’s stay, we spend hours together in formal debrief. For weeks, we meet for additional conversation—and respectable amounts of coffee—to further unpacked the last term and prepare for the next one.

There is a reason we give that kind of time to people.

You simply cannot rush some conversations. We talk about things that happened, but as the hours and conversations pass, we naturally move toward to what those experiences have produced in them personally, spiritually, relationally, and as a family.

That is where trust becomes so important.

People usually don't begin with the hardest thing. They begin with what is easiest to talk about and, when they discover that you are truly listening, that you aren't shocked by anything, and that you aren't waiting for an opportunity to give them a quick-fix solution or fluff answer, they begin to go deeper.

Eventually, these leaders’ home assignment ends and they return to their mission field. When this happens were genuinely glad to see them go—not because we want them to leave, of course not! We love them! But because they are healthy and ready to return.

The mission of ZEELO has never been to simply keep a missionary on the mission field. It has always been about caring for these leaders so that they make healthy decisions and can discern what God has for them next.

That distinction matters to us.

People are not ministry equipment. And a missionary's value is not determined by how many people come to Christ through their ministry. A church planter does not become more valuable because he plants ten churches instead of two. A pastor's worth is not measured by attendance on Sunday morning. Before any of these men and women are missionaries, pastors, church planters, or ministry leaders, they are people created in the image of God—friends and fellow followers of Jesus.

They know that our relationship with them isn't dependent upon their performance. If the ministry is thriving, we celebrate with them. If life seems to be falling apart, we want to be there for them. In fact, some of the most important words we ever hear from a Global Leader may be, “Look, I'm really not doing very well right now.”

We don't hear those words as failure. We hear them as trust.

Once there is enough trust for someone to let us really know them, and to tell the truth about what is happening, that is when meaningful care begins. Sometimes that means encouragement comes as prayer. Sometimes it means helping them find space to reconnect. Sometimes professional counseling is needed. Sometimes a person simply needs permission to rest without feeling guilty about it. And occasionally what is needed most is a friend who will sit at the table, listen carefully, and resist the temptation to solve anything before the second cup of coffee.

This is also one of the less visible things your generosity makes possible through ZEELO.

When you give, you certainly help us provide tangible things like housing, transportation, training, travel, and other practical assistance. But you also give us the ability to be present. You make it possible for us to get on a Zoom call or airplane and sit across the table with great people who are making a difference for the Kingdom.

We believe the men and women carrying the Gospel to the more than 3 billion Unreached people in the world deserve exceptional care. They deserve people who understand what they do, but more importantly know who they are.

I’m in Thailand as I write this blog post. Being here has been another formative experience. Meeting local people in their homes and villages, hearing their stories, praying over them and simply being present is a privilege. Providing exceptional care can be complicated, at times. But sometimes it is remarkably simple: know people well, love them genuinely, earn their trust, and stay close enough to notice when they need you.

That is the kind of relationship we want every Global Leader served by ZEELO to have. And your partnership helps make it possible.